Worrying about my health...

 

All my life I've been very relaxed (some might even say careless) about my health. I've done just about every kind of unhealthy thing imaginable without so much as a hint of guilt about the consequences. 
Well, all of those admittedly quite fun times, might just come round to bite me in the arse.... but before I stand a chance to be remorseful, I need to first deal with my mystery disease first.

It all started about 2.5-3 years ago, just after having lost my loving pet jadie, the sweetest mixed breed dog, to cancer. So at first I thought I might be suffering a psychological reaction to her death. She had only been gone a couple of days when I noticed a rash of itchy tiny little lumps all  over my body. But during the next couple of months a number of darkish üinhead sized marks developed spreading from my face and neck all the way down to my calves. The rash had receded but not disappeared, but simply changed into something else. These dark marks became more and more sore, they also grew in size to multiple times their original size and seemed to be working their way to the surface of my skin...There was another distinctive change during those first few weeks and that was that I noticed a definite difference in the smell of my bodywaste. So when I went to the loo, to do the big business, it smelt like manure does on a farm.... 
So these symptoms continued to worsen at an admittedly slow but relentless pace. Now things have begun to speed up over the last few months. As I stated to begin with, I've always been very relaxed about my health and whenever I went down with something, my closest friends used to get so worried and frustrated due to my total lack of consern. This time however it seemed to be reversed, I grew more and more concerned but nobody believed there is anything wrong with me. Despite losing over 25kg (over 50pounds) over the course of these three years and numerous visits to all kinds if different doctors to find out what is wrong with me, no diagnosis has been made and more and more people have openly expressed irritation when I mention my health issues, openly stating that they don't believe there is anything wrong with me, or that I am just trying to get attention... which is very hurtful... 

Over the past two months, these spots on or under my skin that started off as dark marks, have developed at a much faster rate, grown bigger and formed painful lumps that have now started to ooze and break open, and some whitish wormlike things have started to protrude. Most are wuite small but some are as thick as my little finger. I am now convinced that I somehow came in contact with sone sort of parasite, unknown or very rare in Europe, that has bern growing internally, and because it's not known here has gone undiagnosed until now. Latest development is a nasty cough I can't seem to shake so now I'm terrified that these things are not just covering my body on the outside but might have spread internally as well.... I'm actually terrified by now and desperately need someone to diagnose this correctly. But I am at a loss where I should turn for help...

 

 

Doing my part for the environment....

 

I know that most people believe, I don't spend any money on new clothes and stuff because I don't have any money.... well, that's only partially true. If new stuff was important to me, I could and would save my few francs and get myself something new every once in a while.... but I don't and there is a reason for that....

I am absolutely convinced of the fact that you never need to buy anything new, to be able to luve comfortably and in style. And I myself am my best proof to this claim!! I get so angry when I hear about how so many poor people in poor countries are paid almost nothing to oroduce tobs of stuff, that nobody really needs and inly serve to make some rich wankers even richer... and I'm going to have no part in it. This means, I'm not going to be a part of this cycle by buying these products. I won't buy clothes that have been produced by underpaid and overworked children, or furniture that has been made out of wood from trees that have been cut down illegally and are desperately needed to conserve and cleanse the air we breath. All over the planet... So, how do I do this? Well I don't live out of boxes and I'm also not a nudist. What I do is: I firmly believe, that everything I could every need to live in comfort has already been produced thousandfold.... any item of clothing or piece of furniture or anything else I could possibly need, already exists in huge numbers somewhere in the world, all I have to do is search for it and have some patience.

Where do I search? Everywhere I can... most if all in the trash. Now I presume a lot of you that are reading this will be put off at the thought of riffling through other folks bins, but I would rather do that frankly, then participate in the systematic destruction of our environment. And in my mind, everybody who goes into a shop and buyes themself a new T-shirt, a coat, a pair of shoes aso, is doing just that. By rifling through someone's rubbish, I'm trying to recycle usable items. Now I'm very aware of the fact that trash is not the same everywhere. I'm talking about the tradh made by people in the so called sophisticated and rich western civilisation. The items that are obviously deemed to be trash in our countries are (if you put aside food leftovers and used nappies) mostly items that have simply become dispensable to their owners. It does not mean they are either okd, broken or even outdated. I consider my lifestyle almost average to my neighbours although I have to go to a lit more trouble to come about my luxury products such as my macbook, my iphone, my jaybirds (bluetooth earphones) and all the expensive items of clothing by expensive brands. Understandably I also cherish them a lot more than most and I also sell anything I find but don't need in my online shop at an affordable price. I wouldn't ever dream if simply chucking these things that someone else might be totally pleased to own, in the rubbish bin. I view my way of life as a way to live comfortably and use luxury items within reason without killing the environment or surpressing and abusing whole countries for my own pleasure. Frankly, if people think going through someone's trash is disgusting, I think killing the environment is disgusting. 

And by the way, I don't just find loads of clothes and furniture, the biggest part I find is for instance hygiene products, shampoos, conditioners, skin creams, disinfectant solutions, cleaning products aso aso.. and I give a lot of the things away to the people I know who don't have a big budget themselves and yes, I also tell them where the things come from... I've not had 1 single complaint to this day, also not from the buyers of the products I sell online.... 

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